I like travel well-planned, long-anticipated travel. I’m not particularly good at spontaneous. More than that, I find the build up, the waiting, the anticipation a wonderful part of the process. I’m already starting to plan a trip with a friend in Spring of 2015. So the last couple of weeks have been a bit of a whirlwind. No, tornado would be a better term.

A last-minute decision (both internally and from the people funding the trip) about attendance at a conference is great. At least, it’s great in theory. It’s a little more stressful if the conference is in Europe and you’re travelling on a South African passport. The colleague I’ll be travelling with has a US passport, as well as an EU one. I’m jealous. The thing that probably frustrates me most about South Africa is that we need visas for so many places. Perhaps not a frustration with South Africa as much as a frustration with the whole system. Until this probably can be solved, it’s visas required, so I headed off to the Netherlands consulate in Durban. According to reliable information, from friends who have tried it and write ups on travel blogs to the consulate website itself, you should apply for a Schengen visa at least three weeks before you travel. I had ten days. Cutting it fine. And so very far from the long, gentle build up to travel that I prefer.

The absolute minimum time the visa would take to come through was five working days. There was nothing I could do about it in the meantime. Luckily for me, I had little time to worry about it. Things at work have been crazy. At the beginning of this year, I had a seriously, almost overwhelmingly, stressful January. At the end of January, I breathed a sigh of relief and looked forward to things calming down. They didn’t. And since August, they’ve just gotten more and more chaotic. This week they ramped up to a whole new level of ridiculous.

And then, on Wednesday, I went back to the consulate, quite ready to be told that my application had been too late. In fact, hoping in a way that it wouldn’t come through so that I could take a few days to breathe. Instead, I was given a visa for longer than I’d originally expected. This is great. I know: it’s a great opportunity. But just thinking about it made me tired. The urge to travel overcame the exhaustion and I changed my ticket and arranged leave and rearranged my life to have at least a few extra days to explore Europe. Europe. This is my first trip to Europe. The shadow over so much of the history of my country, of Africa, of my heritage. I’m still not sure how I feel about Europe. I hope I can make the time to figure it out. I feel like it is important.

In the last couple of days, stress levels remained at peak, so that by Friday afternoon I still hadn’t done anything about planning the non-business part of my trip. In between stressing about work, I managed to find a few moments to panic about the fact that I needed to do something about bookings or plans or something. But there just wasn’t time. This is why I like long periods of planning and thinking and learning something about the place I’m going. Not this time. Instead, panic. Have visa, will panic.

I’m less stressed about it now. I’m heading up to Johannesburg today (Saturday). That means I have a whole Saturday night to finish all the work and finally make plans. Or perhaps it’s just because the packing – my least favourite part of travel – is done. I’m even beginning to get a little bit excited. Just a trip to Johannesburg, a weekend, high-stress public events and a particularly long Monday to go before I get to travel again.